Thursday, February 19, 2015

Crushing

fluttering

times your heart is simply bursting
there is a physical and an emotional channel
that's ready to burst open
as you wait for it to do so
and to hear the gushing waters flow out
as you wait to feel the life
as the waters rush past you
engulfing you in its mirth
in its dance of life
of abundance
of joy

Be it as you devour the last few pages of a good book
or are climaxing towards the end of a movie you spent
a good three hours watching

a love story in real life, just taking form
or a painting that you spent days, months creating
and you stroke in the last dash of color
or politics...when you feel it within your being
that something in the air is changing
the romance of newness...of life...

Ah !! That's a moment worth living
worth waiting for
each time...every time

a moment
of hope

Friday, February 13, 2015

hold on...

'times life is on a whirl...
a roller coaster it seems
you may scream you may cry
but then it goes on and on seemingly
on a time band that's end less

hold on...

for when the ride's through and you
step out of the protective cabin
you know it was worth it
you love the rush that's still gurgling in your stomach
well, that's what life's all about
a roller coaster ride
with God protecting you
with gear of warmth and light and hope
through all the ups and the swooshing downs
and all you can do...is

hold on.

Thursday, January 22, 2015


Choice...My Choice

Every morning dawns with innumerable choices…and each choice…I make. Each moment is not just a measure of time, it’s also a choice and it is I who makes the choice. I wish to wake up now or sleep more, I want to eat or not, what do I do with my day today, I work or paint or write, what do I pack for my child’s lunch…innumerable choices and each one, I make. Above all is the choice of whether I spend the day smiling or surrounded by regrets…it’s a choice, and like all the rest, I make it.

It’s not my circumstances that make me happy or sad, I do. It’s not the people around me, that make me happy or sad, I make myself happy or if I so wish, sad.

I allow my circumstances to decide or those I love, to decide what my day will be like, or my life…I choose to do so…then why blame them or even life for a choice I made? It was never in their hands to do so, I handed it over to them willfully…the right to make my day…my life, brighter or clouded with pain…I allowed them the right to sketch out my destiny. Until one day I realize, the image that I see is not the picture I wished for me…with ink and colour spattered over ruthlessly. Then, I cry…but there again I have a choice, right there…do I cry or do I walk…never easy I know, you’d say ,but that’s where I beg to differ…for I make a choice…I ask for help…I ask God to take me in his grace again…and that’s the counsel that never fails…I choose to walk with God by my side and hope and love…and light…

I pick up the paint brush and pour white all over the ruins that were painted by another, ruins that were my life…I pray and believe in the power of love and light and start again…I paint my own painting…with a myriad of colours, all those I choose…and slowly, very very slowly, I see my image appearing…an image, a painting, a life I choose…there will be faint remnants of the ugly ink and the pain it brought onto my canvas, yeah it still shows through at some place, at moments…but my image is strong and colorful and powerful…so slowly, very slowly the colors of the image I chose others to paint for me, fade away…I no longer see them…all I see is my own painting…colorful…bright and cheerful…happy and peaceful…I choose to smile back at it, surrounded with love and light.

I make the choice to smile at my life…and slowly, very slowly but surely so, life smiles back at me.
Devastation

Maybe it's karma
Maybe... it's time
time to let go
of the shadows that were
holding you captive...still...
the lurking energies of the past...

Maybe it's time
to step out of the warmth of the familiar
and to stand outside in the
light of this drizzling rain

Maybe...
It's time to start over
to harness once again the blessings and the goodness
to step inside...your heart and your soul

To smile...
To dance to the music of the
Silent chords...



Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Where have all the sparrows gone ?



Recently I re-discovered the joy of feeding birds every morning like I used to, a few years back…each morning the tiny winged lovelies now flock to my balcony waiting for me to put out the grain…what joy !! It’s almost meditative to sip a cup of hot tea while sitting in my bed watching these birds and a lot of squirrels picking on one grain after another….mechanically…persistently…they just keep pecking.

Some fight (Oh so human) and wouldn’t let the others eat and in the process miss out on eating time themselves too J. Some, like a pair of parrots I see quietly just eating ..always together…sheer joy they are to watch. They take a break to go sip on the water that I have kept there…and then back to collecting more food in their beaks.

I have, along with the squirrels a lot of pigeons, mynahs, doves, a pair of white doves and some exotic little birds whose names I don’t know and together they are a joy to watch but sadly I find the little brown sparrows missing…completely. Not one.  Having been born and brought up in the city I have always had sparrows around me…in my garden, on the windows and merrily chirping away even inside our homes. I suddenly miss them.

I have read about the environmentalists over the past few years talking about almost a 50% drop in the population of sparrows in the city of Delhi but never really bothered about it. Today when it has become so very obvious to me…it is bothering me. I am surrounded by huge trees…have them in plenty and always thought I could hear them chirp but where are they ?

The reasons we are all aware of but still I list a few of them here…

Architectural changes:

Sparrows do not make their nests in trees…earlier they used to breed in our houses, the sun shades, the windows. The urban city scape doesn’t offer them that space any more…the apartments are tightly sealed leading to a lack of safe space to nest in.

Groceries to Supermarkets

A website explains that earlier food grain used to be stored and transported in gunny bags and some would spill…they fed on that. With super markets taking over that avenue is also closed for these tiny birds.

Mobile Radiations

The scientists who are trying to unravel the cause of Sparrow’s disappearance have identified a new culprit: the mobile phone. Studies have warned about the effects of these mobile radiations on reproduction and fertility of eggs. Animals navigate by the Earth's magnetic fields and these waves can disturb a bird's ability to find their way around.

Unleaded Petrol and Insecticides

The extensive use of pesticides and insecticides in our farms and gardens have created a scarcity of insects. The unleaded fuel, believed to be eco-friendly, has harmful byproducts. Though adult sparrows can survive without insects being a part of diet, they need these to feed their young ones, and hence, the infant mortality rate of sparrows has gone up.

Pigeons, Crow and other big Birds Population

Religious beliefs encourage feeding of a particular species of birds and therefore, the birds like crows and pigeons have outnumbered small birds. These birds dominantly occupy the feeding and nesting sites. And they have scared off our tiny winged friend and companion.

Some news articles over the past two to three years have mentioned that the bird has been spotted in pockets in Delhi…some colonies still have them…under some fly overs they have been spotted…but they seem to be fast declining and that is sad.

The only thing I see we can do is…if we spot any around our houses…we feed them. Put out some drinking water for them especially in the scorching heat of Delhi summers. That is one good deed one can do and get so much joy every morning. Also if there are some around you…take the trouble of putting up a bird house in your balcony, on your terrace…give them a home to come back to.

 Infact in 2010 the government also made the sparrow the bird of the State of Delhi.

I’d love to hear them sing here again…








Thursday, October 23, 2014

i don't know how to pray



I don’t know how to pray to God…never followed the rituals…never had any discipline…never read the scriptures…all I do is talk to him…have found him to be my closest friend, one who loves me unconditionally, one who can tell me what to do and what not do, one who holds me when I am down…one who is very very close at hand…
ot a party gate crasher until I force Him to gatecrash :-). (And that is when I am about to crash myself). He waited quietly, very quietly for me to open the doors and the moment I did, He walked right in…that’s all that God does…He waits…very patiently until we open the door. Then onwards he stays…
I don't know how to pray...i just love Him.

been a while

Its been a long while...i guess so much has happened in these past couple of years that perhaps words also fell short somewhere...have decided to come back to finding the missing links and the words and phrases...some tough and some that were fun...some that were very hard lessons and some that were merely this Universe's way of blessing me !! So yeah about time i touched base....so here i am :-)