yeh khwaab

Jab aankhon mein chubhne lage khwaab bhi dil ke
Hothon par hansi bhi rukne nahi aati
Lafz, jo zaban par aa aakar laut jaate hain

Khud ko yun jeene ka andaaz sikha rahi hun main

Mohabbatein hai, jo dil mein dafn hai
Aansoon hain jo ab palkon ko bhigote nahin
Haath kisi ke thaam kar jeene ki tammanna thi ab tak
Khud ko ab akele chalne ka andaz sikha rahi hun main

Tujhe chaah kar bhi kabhi apna nahin sakti hun main
Khud se khafa hun
Ya phir tumse bezaar
Phir bhi tere khwaab ko dil mein chupaye
Zindagi ko muskuraane ka andaz sikha rahi hun main

Jab aankhon mein chubhne lage khwaab bhi dil ke
Khud ko yun jeene ka andaz sikha rahi hun main

Bazaar

baazar jaate hue ek dost ne poocha tha...kya laaoon...

Kahin bikti hogi hansi, la do
dil ka sukoon shaayad mil jaaye, woh la do

meri aankhon ki roshni kho gayi mujhse, woh la do

uska pyaar bhi suna hai, aaj neelam ho raha hai
ho sake to mutthi bhar
mere dost, mere liye woh la do...

Angels of Evolution

Angels of evolution….am using a title of a write up from one of the authors of a popular guide to a great life kind of a person…the new age gurus…am not good at reading this kind of a book …don’t have the patience for it…but something caught my eye and I read through the article this morning in the newspaper…

Somehow, it made sense to me…for it re assured me of one fact…that everything in our lives, especially the tough and the bad…the harsh and the cruel only makes us better as a human being…we grow…we evolve…we learn…to live…better. Yeah it would be inhuman to say or even think that when your heart breaks you don’t hurt…you do…we all do…and it hurts like hell….you are in a state where nothing and no one makes sense. How you go about it, is to me a process…a technique. Initially, you cry, you’re angry, you’re full of self pity and worse you are filled with self doubts…until you realize that life has to move on…and you have no option but to do that…move on. Its then that I find my technique working…like in a training programme…you at first put all the sad thoughts aside…you cannot delete them or so I feel…you barely manage to put them aside and replace them with more positive ones…then it becomes a programmed response and someday, it doesn’t matter anymore… for nothing and no one is irreplaceable…everybody is…and once that happens, you somehow know that you have moved on and you are a much better much stronger person…

Through this journey what you fight is bitterness, cynicism, self pity, self doubt and so much more that’s painful…but all these incidents are painful but they are in the truest form…Angels of Evolution…ours…our physical, mental and most importantly emotional. They teach us the process of growth…beyond what we consider love, beyond the feeling that something or someone is so much more important to us than everything else including our own aspirations our own soul.

These unknown, unexpected and painful beings or spirits are not mere accidents of fate or destiny. They are truly our own Angels of evolution. Someday when the darkness is gone, we see it…until then...its mere angst...

burn marks or a badge of honour

You do..all the time...all your lives...you give in to this innate desire to give. Times much more that what is deserved, much more than what your intelligence is telling you to...you give. This probably is the sole reason why you come across this disillusionment...and suddenly you wake upto reality and find nothing but ashes in the palm of your hand...for what's burnt out is so much deeper than your dreams, your ambitions, the commitments...what's burnt out is your soul, your own creative spirit.

Its when this awakening happens you realise that regardless of what you desired you have no way of going forward onto the path that you had believed yourself or were led to believe, was your path...the darkness that then descends onto your thinking feeling self is what your instincts were warning you about. And yet this unwavering faith in the world or your own capacty to deal with it makes you keep at it. For years. What you're then left questioning thereon is your own faith...wonder if it was worth it...wonder if this faith was ever so deserving.

You look back at the moments of being beaten up, physically as well as emotionally and you look at the burn scars that have marred your physical self as well as your soul and realise that the burn mark you carry on your being, is no badge of honour, no guarantee of everlasting devotion...its merely a mark of what you as a human being had given up wilfully. The physical scars often hurt...even years after they have been bestowed upon you...and the pain then seeps through your being, especially so in those dark moments when the embers are burning through the palm of your hand. You tend to give not because it is your damned duty to or that you were expected to...but because you chose to do it this way...again the damn faith :)....until the embers begin to hurt...so much that you jerk away your hand and run to find what truly belongs to you...your soul, your own spirit.

That's a dark journey for there is no illuminati there to guide you through that path, no super heroes there protecting you, saving you, often times even from your self...its a lonely journey. But somewhere deep down in your heart you know you have the strength to take it on...

awareness of self... a journey

The awareness of ones self…the familiarity with ones true spirit and ones own being comes with great pain…with immense sacrifice…at times it calls for the sacrifice of all that one has stood for all their lives…at times one lives through years and years of bliss not realizing that it is not sheer bliss but ignorance until one day you find your self facing the mirror of your own soul and then the out pour of questions…where you question not just your self, your actions and your beliefs and convictions but at times the very existence and the meaning of the Almighty.

It is then that begins another journey…which is often times much tougher…a journey of self discovery.

A woman goes through so many different stages of not simply growth but of evolution until she finally faces herself in the mirror and then she begins to question all that she had held sacred until then including her very own existence and the purpose thereof.

By nature, by providence, a woman can feel everything , in the deep recesses of her being…perhaps the folklore that woman or the wild woman spirit, was created or crafted from the skin of the sole of the feet of the all - knowing, is true…for the sole of ones foot is supposedly powered to feel everything it touches or that touches it. Perhaps…or maybe the Almighty, the mother creator desired to create a living being on this earth that could feel and that might in return help preserve.

ek naya silsila

Chalo aaj ek nayaa silsila shuru kiya jaaye

jise dekh kar saans chalti hai aaj bhi

chalo usse dil se bhulaane ki koshish ki jaaye

jo aaj bhi sajaata hai mere sapnon ko

uss khwaab ko aaj mitaane ka samaan kiyaa jaaye

chalo aaj ek nayaa silsila shuru kiyaa jaye.

Manzilen aaj bhi dhundhli hain

raaste aaj bhi sabhi uss dar pe ruk jaate hain

chalo in raaston ko ek naya morh diyaa jaaye

chalo aaj ek nayaa silsila shuru kiyaa jaye

Har sahar har shaam ki mehakti khushbu mein

aaj bhi shaamil hai mohabbat ki woh tarhap

saawan ki boondon mein in ashkon ko milaane ki koshish ki jaaye

chalo aaj ek nayaa silsila shuru kiyaa jaaye

Kahin door ufuk par dhalte sooraj ko samjhaya jaaye

aasmanon mein urhte panchiyon se kahaa jaaye

uss dar par koyee nishaan mere saaye ka na chodh jaaye

chalo aaj ek nayaa silsila shuru kiya jaaye

Is bheerh mein gum insaanon ko dhoonda jaaye

aaj phir mohabbat mein vishwaas dilaaya jaaye

aaj phir woh geet ishq ki galiyon mein gungunaaya jaaye

chalo aaj phir ek nayaa silsila shuru kiyaa jaaye

Aaj bhi meri saanson mein ghuli hai jiss ki chaahat ki kashish

ab uss gumnaam saaye se haath churaya jaaye

ab bhi aayeene mein dikhta hai woh chehra mujhe

aaj uss aayeene ko paani se dhulaaya jaaye

khud se aaj chalo khud hi ko ik baar milaaya jaaye

apne chehre ki lakeeron mein apni zindagi ko tarasha jaaye

chalo aaj ek nayaa silsila shuru kiyaa jaaye...