Crushing

fluttering

times your heart is simply bursting
there is a physical and an emotional channel
that's ready to burst open
as you wait for it to do so
and to hear the gushing waters flow out
as you wait to feel the life
as the waters rush past you
engulfing you in its mirth
in its dance of life
of abundance
of joy

Be it as you devour the last few pages of a good book
or are climaxing towards the end of a movie you spent
a good three hours watching

a love story in real life, just taking form
or a painting that you spent days, months creating
and you stroke in the last dash of color
or politics...when you feel it within your being
that something in the air is changing
the romance of newness...of life...

Ah !! That's a moment worth living
worth waiting for
each time...every time

a moment
of hope

hold on...

'times life is on a whirl...
a roller coaster it seems
you may scream you may cry
but then it goes on and on seemingly
on a time band that's end less

hold on...

for when the ride's through and you
step out of the protective cabin
you know it was worth it
you love the rush that's still gurgling in your stomach
well, that's what life's all about
a roller coaster ride
with God protecting you
with gear of warmth and light and hope
through all the ups and the swooshing downs
and all you can do...is

hold on.

Choice...My Choice

Every morning dawns with innumerable choices…and each choice…I make. Each moment is not just a measure of time, it’s also a choice and it is I who makes the choice. I wish to wake up now or sleep more, I want to eat or not, what do I do with my day today, I work or paint or write, what do I pack for my child’s lunch…innumerable choices and each one, I make. Above all is the choice of whether I spend the day smiling or surrounded by regrets…it’s a choice, and like all the rest, I make it.

It’s not my circumstances that make me happy or sad, I do. It’s not the people around me, that make me happy or sad, I make myself happy or if I so wish, sad.

I allow my circumstances to decide or those I love, to decide what my day will be like, or my life…I choose to do so…then why blame them or even life for a choice I made? It was never in their hands to do so, I handed it over to them willfully…the right to make my day…my life, brighter or clouded with pain…I allowed them the right to sketch out my destiny. Until one day I realize, the image that I see is not the picture I wished for me…with ink and colour spattered over ruthlessly. Then, I cry…but there again I have a choice, right there…do I cry or do I walk…never easy I know, you’d say ,but that’s where I beg to differ…for I make a choice…I ask for help…I ask God to take me in his grace again…and that’s the counsel that never fails…I choose to walk with God by my side and hope and love…and light…

I pick up the paint brush and pour white all over the ruins that were painted by another, ruins that were my life…I pray and believe in the power of love and light and start again…I paint my own painting…with a myriad of colours, all those I choose…and slowly, very very slowly, I see my image appearing…an image, a painting, a life I choose…there will be faint remnants of the ugly ink and the pain it brought onto my canvas, yeah it still shows through at some place, at moments…but my image is strong and colorful and powerful…so slowly, very slowly the colors of the image I chose others to paint for me, fade away…I no longer see them…all I see is my own painting…colorful…bright and cheerful…happy and peaceful…I choose to smile back at it, surrounded with love and light.

I make the choice to smile at my life…and slowly, very slowly but surely so, life smiles back at me.

Devastation

Maybe it's karma
Maybe... it's time
time to let go
of the shadows that were
holding you captive...still...
the lurking energies of the past...

Maybe it's time
to step out of the warmth of the familiar
and to stand outside in the
light of this drizzling rain

Maybe...
It's time to start over
to harness once again the blessings and the goodness
to step inside...your heart and your soul

To smile...
To dance to the music of the
Silent chords...