Choice...My Choice
Every morning dawns with innumerable choices…and each choice…I make. Each moment is not just a measure of time, it’s also a choice and it is I who makes the choice. I wish to wake up now or sleep more, I want to eat or not, what do I do with my day today, I work or paint or write, what do I pack for my child’s lunch…innumerable choices and each one, I make. Above all is the choice of whether I spend the day smiling or surrounded by regrets…it’s a choice, and like all the rest, I make it.
It’s not my circumstances that make me happy or sad, I do. It’s not the people around me, that make me happy or sad, I make myself happy or if I so wish, sad.
I allow my circumstances to decide or those I love, to decide what my day will be like, or my life…I choose to do so…then why blame them or even life for a choice I made? It was never in their hands to do so, I handed it over to them willfully…the right to make my day…my life, brighter or clouded with pain…I allowed them the right to sketch out my destiny. Until one day I realize, the image that I see is not the picture I wished for me…with ink and colour spattered over ruthlessly. Then, I cry…but there again I have a choice, right there…do I cry or do I walk…never easy I know, you’d say ,but that’s where I beg to differ…for I make a choice…I ask for help…I ask God to take me in his grace again…and that’s the counsel that never fails…I choose to walk with God by my side and hope and love…and light…
I pick up the paint brush and pour white all over the ruins that were painted by another, ruins that were my life…I pray and believe in the power of love and light and start again…I paint my own painting…with a myriad of colours, all those I choose…and slowly, very very slowly, I see my image appearing…an image, a painting, a life I choose…there will be faint remnants of the ugly ink and the pain it brought onto my canvas, yeah it still shows through at some place, at moments…but my image is strong and colorful and powerful…so slowly, very slowly the colors of the image I chose others to paint for me, fade away…I no longer see them…all I see is my own painting…colorful…bright and cheerful…happy and peaceful…I choose to smile back at it, surrounded with love and light.
I make the choice to smile at my life…and slowly, very slowly but surely so, life smiles back at me.
